It's not easy being green

As I type this, I know exactly how Kermit the Frog felt. My arms and legs are tinted the astro turf green of patio furniture, I smell strongly of gasoline and vaguely of tropical passionfruit bodywash, and I think I'm going to have a blister on my pointer finger. HELP!

How did I get myself into this mess?

A couple in our church sent out a church-wide email stating that they were giving away a set of 'slightly rusted' patio furniture and a 'working' toaster. As Sam and I have a patio that we've never really used because we didn't want to invest in furniture for it (due to our relatively short stay here and the fact that we'd have to move it back to Mississippi with us), I saw this as a perfect opportunity! We can just use the furniture during our time here and then have the option to give it away before we move. Brilliant.

I called the couple to tell them Sam would be by to pick up the set of furniture on his way home from class one day. (On a side note...... although I couldn't tell it from their email, this couple is from Holland; and they have a very thick Dutch accent. Think Goldmember in Austin Powers - "my fazsher!" Very humorous, I think.) I was planning to make a quick job of spray painting the furniture to hide the rusty spots, but I'd never really done anything like that before.

So I called Mrs. Bonnie (Sam's mom) who can pretty much do anything (except wear dangly earrings, of course) to get directions for spiffing up our furniture. She told me get some Rust-oleum paint and give it a once-over, rust and all. OR, and I quote, "If you want to do it the easy way, just get Sam to get a wire brush and scrape off all the rust and then paint it." Well, that would be easy! But as Sam is out of town in San Diego this week, I decided to pursue the more difficult way of painting it myself.

I went to Wal-Mart, per her instruction, and purchased Rust-oleum paint in the shade of green closest to what the furniture already was. Then, I put on some old clothes and flip flops and situated the pieces of furniture in our back yard. Ready, set, go!

To skip the boring part, the furniture is painted and looks pretty nice. I may need one more can of paint to do some touch-ups, though. Anyway..... after I finished and came inside, I realized I had paint on my hands. Hmmm, dish soap isn't working. I called Sam, who told me to use the gasoline he has for the lawnmower. That got the paint on the palms of my hands to come off, but (maybe I was doing it wrong) it didn't make much of a difference anywhere else. I figured that the paint would wear off eventually, and it's only on my hands.... I should just take a shower.

Imagine my surprise when I look down to see a flip flop stenciled in green paint on my feet. Next, I realize that I'm a sickly green all the way up to my elbows and mid-thighs! Now hopeless, I finish my washing. Even if I wanted to take a petrol-shower, we don't have that much gasoline left; so I think I'm stuck. And that's the story so far. I'll post a picture of our new furniture (and of me if I'm still green) when Sam gets back.